Hello Pain. Meet Your Therapist

What to Expect in Therapy

Most people have no idea what to expect when they walk into a therapist’s office for the first time. Anxiety is often high. Expectations are often based on depictions from movies or tv shows. This means newcomers may expect a stiff lipped, notepad bearing therapist with no sense of humor who asks the client to lay down on the couch for an awkward first session.

There is something mystical about the world of psychotherapy, as if we can see into the souls of every person we meet. While this is not the case, most of us have developed a keen sense of human behavior and are more aware of subtle nuances and inconsistencies than most. However, in the end, we are just human like everyone else and retreat to our own families at the end of the day.

Over the past 17 years of practicing psychotherapy, I’ve come to realize that there are no new problems. This is not to minimize the problems that exist, but to suggest that humans are humans, and as different as we are, we are all remarkably similar. Therapy is not mystical. Problems (although deeply painful for the individual) are not new. Each of us experiences waves of sadness, grief, excitement, despair, joy, anger, frustration and euphoria. It is the essence of the human experience.
There is a certain strength in asking for help. Neglecting to help-seek is not an indication of superb inner fortitude. It could be stubbornness or a conditioned sense of self-sufficiency, or perhaps a sophisticated and ultimately believable defense mechanism, but rarely a sign of strength. Before considering or bowing away from therapy completely, consider the following:

• Therapists will NOT call you crazy. This is not a term we use and is a dismissive, uninformed, and flippant way of regarding a person and/or his/her problems. We respect you more than that.
• We don’t sit around and talk about you over lunch or with our families. We deeply value confidentiality.
• Many of us our funny and playful. Therapy does not have to be serious all the time.
• You cannot shock us. As uncomfortable as it may be to share something deeply personal, we’ve likely heard it before and are well-prepared for any disclosure you make.
• Most of us have been or are in therapy ourselves.
• Problems and pain do not discriminate. Pain is universal. Do not assume others do not struggle. They do. Christians and atheists, doctors and lawyers, teachers, students, rich and poor, black and white, married and single, thick and thin, pastors and plumbers, new mothers, newly retired. We all struggle.
• Therapists see versions of the same problems over and over. Infidelity, substance use, anxiety/depression, sexual abuse or assault, work/life balance, low self-esteem, comparison to others, marriage problems, spiritual wounds, grief, fertility issues, parenting and family problems, disordered eating, domestic violence, family of origin issues, setting boundaries in relationships, burnout, sex and pleasure, racism, sexual orientation. Remember, there are no new issues.
• Therapists care deeply about their clients. That’s why we chose to do what we do. With that said, we are all different. We have different personalities and styles. The most important part of creating a successful therapy experience is the relationship between the therapist and client. It’s okay to “shop” around until you find the right therapist.
• Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Many skeptical people have acquired a deep appreciation for the therapy process.

At Unbound Recovery, we have immediate openings for outpatient nutrition counseling services and mental health services. We specialize in working with adolescents and adults with eating disorders, disordered eating patterns, body image concerns, chronic dieting, self-esteem concerns, and more. Call us today at 785-510-3008 or email us at info@unboundmhk.com to get started. We are currently accepting new clients at our Manhattan, KS and Topeka, KS locations!

About the Author:

Stephanie Wick, Ph.D., LCMFT, LCAC

Dr. Stephanie Wick owns and operates Andrews & Associates Counseling and is a co-owner of Unbound Recovery in Manhattan, KS. She is a long-time resident of the Manhattan area. She is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (LCMFT) and Licensed Clinical Addictions Counselor (LCAC) in Kansas.