Body Image Part 1

The Hate/Hate Relationship

Why are you so big?  I hate the way you look!  I hate you!  Why can’t you just be smaller, taller, different, pretty?  These are harsh and hateful words that we don’t say to others, but we often say to ourselves easily.  Our minds can end up in some pretty dark places when we look into the mirror.  If you have these or similar thoughts, you may struggle with a negative body image or body dissatisfaction.  According to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), a negative body image involves characteristics such as a distorted view of your shape or appearance, shame, anxiety, self-consciousness, and feelings of imperfections in comparison to others (2022).  

A majority of individuals are struggling with or have struggled with body image at some point in their lives.  There is no shame in struggling with body image.  Our society has set us up to believe it is honorable to always critique our bodies, compare ourselves to others, and attempt to change our bodies to fit into an “ideal” body mold (whatever that means).  These attempted changes to our bodies often cause harm both mentally and physically.  This fake “ideal” body has set us up for failure in our own minds, and gives us a false entitlement: that it is appropriate to comment on others’ bodies and/or judge others by their appearance.  Why would it be ok to comment on someone else’s body?  The body doesn’t impact anyone but the owner. My opinion, it’s not appropriate, ever; it just isn’t.  Comments may seem innocent, but they can stick with a person for a very long time.  When you hear someone making comments about another person’s body, do you find yourself wanting to shout:  “Hard stop, Maureen!  Move along and find something else to talk about!”  As a society, we need more disapproval of the body comments and shaming and less opposition to body differences.  Uniqueness should be celebrated!  How uninteresting would life be if we all looked the same?    

You may be asking yourself why a Registered Dietitian is discussing body image, it has nothing to do with food??  Let me explain.  

1. Negative body image can lead to eating disorders (NEDA, 2022).  It is important to heal body image simultaneously while improving relationships with food and improving eating disorder behaviors.  A collaborative approach is the gold standard of eating disorder treatment.  At Unbound Recovery in Manhattan, KS, we work as a treatment team which means regularly communicating with therapists, registered dietitians, and medical providers to provide comprehensive and compassionate care to clients.
2. As a registered dietitian, I do not concentrate on body image to help clients lose weight.  Honestly, weight is not my concern.  I focus on health and nourishing the body appropriately to promote a healthy lifestyle.  Weight is rarely a clear and accurate indicator of health.  As we focus on nourishing the body appropriately, weight may fluctuate while it finds a natural and comfortable place based on an individual’s genetic blueprint.  What does “properly nourishing” the body look like?  It differs from individual to individual.  With clients who struggle with eating disorders, a meal plan may be more structured to begin with while hunger/fullness cues normalize and the body repairs itself.  Eventually, we will start working on the 10 principles of intuitive eating developed by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S and Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, FAND, which focuses more on listening to your body’s internal cues instead of outside sources of information (such as fad diets) to determine when, what, and how much to eat.  I often tell clients that the body is a genius at telling us what it needs; we just need to listen to it.  Intuitive Eating also includes respecting your body and understanding that genetically, it will have a comfortable weight, shape, and size which is unique for each individual.
3. I do focus on body appreciation to help heal body image.  Contrary to popular belief, healing body image doesn’t mean changing the body’s shape or size.  One of my favorite quotes is from Marci Evans, MS, CES-S, LDN:  “Improving body image is not about changing your body; It’s about making what IS less painful.”  We sometimes believe that if we are just smaller, we would be happier with ourselves.  Many times this causes us to try to change our bodies with unhealthy practices.  Then, when we are smaller, we continue to struggle with body image.  Losing weight did not make us feel better about ourselves.  In reality, we often feel worse because now we have to continue to follow rigid rules to keep our bodies a certain way, which can lead to anxiety and depression.  It is a hate/hate relationship.  We hate ourselves at this weight, but then we also hate ourselves at a lower weight because we didn’t work on the actual problem… our perceptions of ourselves.  Changing our perceptions so it is a more positive and realistic representation of our true selves and characteristics is what body image healing is all about.  We are more than just a body!  Focusing on body appreciation allows us to learn to appreciate the functionality of our bodies, the body’s power, strength, and capabilities, and hopefully find things that we love about our appearance too.  It is also important to identify characteristics of the personality such as kindness, empathy, compassion, being a good friend or listener, positive attitude, etc. that we identify as part of our value system and true self.

So how do we develop a more positive body image?  It takes a lot of work and the work is difficult.  It is worthwhile and can help us feel better about ourselves.  The National Eating Disorder Association has developed a list of 10 actions we can do to help us develop a more positive image of ourselves.  This list includes actions such as body appreciation, surrounding ourselves with positive people, and participating in self-care activities among many others.  The full list can be found at:  10 Steps to Positive Body Image | National Eating Disorders Association.  We should also be more cognizant of how we talk to others.  

• Avoid conversations that are comparing bodies or focusing on negative comments about body.  Instead focus on participating in activities that promote a healthy lifestyle, but also creates enjoyment in your life.  
• Avoid commenting on our own bodies in front of our children.  These comments can unintentionally lead children to believe that appearance and body shape and size are connected to self-worth.  
• Avoid commenting on our children’s weight and size in a negative way.  Instead focus on proper nourishment for proper growth and development.  As children grow, it is normal for bodies to change, but we don’t need to comment on those changes.  These comments can lead to children feeling awkward and uncomfortable in their own bodies.  Do promote healthy lifestyle such as overall general healthy meals and mindful movement.  

At Unbound Recovery, both the therapists and the dietitians work with clients to improve body image by helping clients see a new perspective.   We focus a lot on reframing negative self-talk and thoughts and practicing body appreciation statements.  We discuss how it feels physically to be within the body, that it may be hard to be in the body and then also try to find something that we appreciate about ourselves.  The overall goal is to interrupt the automatic response to always speak to ourselves negatively.  I also utilize an activity learned from Marci Evans, MS, CED-S, LDN:  writing letters to a body part that we struggle with the most.  I ask the client to choose a body part that they struggle with and write a letter to that body part, telling the part everything they feel about it with no filters.  Then, they write a response from the body part.  I have the client read the letters out loud in session.  This activity helps the client see just how harsh we can be to ourselves and the response back is usually an argument for appreciation for everything the body part does for the person.  Because this can be an awkward experience, I usually complete the activity with clients and am willing to share my letters in session too.  Stay tuned for a second blog on body image where I share one of my letters.  

There are many other activities that we can do to promote a healthier body image and therapists and dietitians at Unbound Recovery enjoy working with clients on body positivity.  At Unbound Recovery, we have immediate openings for outpatient nutrition counseling services and therapy services. We specialize in working with adolescents and adults with eating disorders, disordered eating patterns, body image concerns, chronic dieting, self-esteem concerns, and more. Call us today at 785-510-3008 or email us at info@unboundmhk.com to get started. Currently, we are accepting new clients at both our Manhattan, KS and Topeka, KS Locations!

References:

1. National Eating Disorder Association (2022); website:  Body Image | National Eating Disorders Association
2. Marci Evans, MS, CED-S, LDN; Nutrition Counseling for Food and Body Image Healing; website:  Marci RD Nutrition | Food and Body Image Healers™
3. Tribole, E. & Resch, E. (2020). Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach (4th ed.). St. Martin’s Essentials, New York.

About the Author:

Amber Howells, PhD, RDN, LD
As a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) at Unbound Recovery in Manhattan, KS, Dr. Amber Howells enjoys working with individuals to restore their relationship with food, while helping them achieve overall health and wellness goals. She is a Kansas native and resides in Manhattan, KS with her husband and five children.